That’s about the size of things

6 Ways Women’s Prison Is More Horrifying Than It Looks on TV

canada goose First you case the joint for a private place (usually a broom closet or a bathroom they’re not like public restrooms with stalls; we get to poop in peace in minimum security), recruit a lookout, then memorize the guards’ routines to the point that you could do the job yourself if only they could see past that pesky “technically imprisoned here” thing. The girls learn to “prime themselves,” so to speak, just prior to the intricately planned encounter, because you’ve got about five minutes, tops, to get the job done. Besides, we have private showers, anyway. All this secrecy is necessary because getting caught might mean a trip to maximum security. canada goose

MaxRiesgo/iStock/Getty Images A fate generally regarded as “not worth it” for 5 minutes of cramped sex in a bathroom stall.

canada goose clearance All this, despite the fact that even the guards know how commonplace inmate sex is. In fact, the incoming prisoners are subjected to the most uncomfortable kind of entrance exam: a battery of STD tests. At the facility where I served, if you failed you got housed separately from the canadian goose jacket uninfected women, in the “don’t bone me” block. Otherwise, it would only be a matter canada goose coats of time before the whole unit came down with the crotch pox. It should be noted that this strategy was found to be seriously ineffective, but prisoners by and large are still not given access to condoms or other safe sex supplies, for fear that it will. Or at least they should. canada goose uk shop But you do develop relationships with guards you like, and you depend on them to help you out if you need something. A guard’s opinion of you can either mean a few Canada Goose Online extra privileges, or getting sent to max for a minor infraction. You better hope you can get in good with them. canada goose clearance

canada goose deals David Parsons/iStock/Getty Images So if you can figure out a way to bake friendship brownies in your cell, maybe move that above toilet wine on the priority list. canada goose deals

buy canada goose jacket cheap Not too good, though. Romantic relationships are shockingly common and carry dire consequences, which I witnessed firsthand when a fellow inmate went all Romeo and Juliet with uk canada goose outlet a male guard. They passed letters to each other. It was all very sweet, like a couple of kids in Ms. Davis’ 8th grade history class. Also like Ms. Davis’ 8th grade history class, it was a massively fucked example of how to abuse your power. Their letters were found during a shakedown. canada goose black friday sale He was fired, and she was sent to maximum. It’s not uncommon for the women to be the aggressors, though. My roommate became psychotically obsessed with her work supervisor, and when she didn’t let up after being repeatedly informed that he just wasn’t ready to commit to a long term Canada Goose Outlet sentence right now, she was transferred to a different area of work and ordered to cease all contact with him. She got off lucky, because that would normally be a transfer to max. buy canada goose jacket cheap

canadian goose jacket Thinkstock Images/Stockbyte/Getty Images “I think we should see other people. For you, those people will be wearing manacles.” canadian goose jacket

canada goose store God forbid you have to friend zone a guard. That same roommate also became the object of unwanted affection from a female canada goose guard, who wasn’t too keen on the “I think of you like a sister, with a Taser” line. The roommate told her caseworker what was going on. The caseworker said she would look into it, but never did. She got off lucky: you don’t accuse a guard of anything if you can’t prove it, because it will come down harder on you than it does on the guard. They protect their own. So it just went on, with my roommate being given extra duty and the guard canada goose uk outlet constantly ordering our room shaken down, hoping to find a contraband tampon or something. canada goose store

canada goose black friday sale Anyone who’s fought for bathroom shelf space with a woman can tell you that ladies have a unique set of needs canada goose clearance when it comes to personal hygiene. When you’re in jail, though, these things are tightly regulated, for obvious reasons. Every time you want to shave your legs, you ask a guard, who takes you to a padlocked supply room and solemnly bequeaths you the precious Lady Bic, which you have to sign out. Now, the clock is ticking you’ve got half an hour to use that razor before you have to turn it in for them to throw away. Otherwise, the alarm bells start ringing, because maybe you went off to go slit your wrists or somebody else’s. So you rush to the shower, I Dream of Jeannie out of your clothes, shave as fast as you can, leap back into them, and race to turn the razor in. Maybe the thinking Canada Goose Jackets is that, if you can manage all that and kill somebody with a safety razor in under half an hour, you deserve to get away with it. canada goose black friday sale

Canada Goose Jackets Manuel F O/iStock/Getty Images That’s why smart prison murders canada goose outlet save time by only cutting one fourth of the neck at a time, over a period of weeks. Canada Goose Jackets

buy canada goose jacket If you ever get tired of government issue front plugs, there’s nothing stopping anyone from smuggling you in some Tampax. And it is nowhere near as sophisticated an operation as they show in movies and TV. There’s no contraband being smuggled inside the food shipments, or sailed in through the sewers. Prisoners who had the connections just had people walk up and throw things over the fence. Whatever could be canada goose coats on sale smuggled was simply lobbed on over drugs, CD players, cell phones, you name it.”Hey, Janice, I brought your favorite javelin!” buy canada goose jacket

Canada Goose Outlet Smuggling things in with your fun parts was also a very popular method. They don’t do full cavity searches, so as long as you’ve been doing your kegel exercises, you can get an iPod shuffle past the guards, no problem. I knew a woman who smuggled in meth inside her vagina, and another woman who smuggled in goddamn jewelry. We were standing outside talking one day when I noticed she was wearing a tongue ring, which isn’t allowed. “Oh, I forgot to take it out,” the woman said, before explaining how she got it in. Canada Goose Outlet

There are definitely tensions between inmates of different races, but buy canada goose jacket cheap at least in the minimum security women’s prison I. “attended,” it’s not exactly all out race riots. It’s far more subtle than that. People do tend to stick to their own group, but we’re all more or less thrown in there together, paving the way for all kinds of interesting conflict. As a white girl, I’m not going to pretend I’ve got it the worst, but there is definitely a lot of resentment toward the white girls from the black and Latina inmates. Usually, we have shorter sentences for a number of (sometimes fucked up) reasons, and a lot of us buy canada goose jacket had black boyfriends on the outside, which wasn’t always looked kindly upon. That leads to all kinds of ridiculous little passive aggressive slights. I worked in the kitchen, which was predominantly staffed by black inmates, so that’s where I felt it the most. Since the girls basically run the place, we decide who gets to do what, and I was consistently given the most mind numbing and menial grunt work. I was even given less food, Canada Goose online so on the plus side, I was all set to hit the beach by the time I got out.

canada goose coats on sale Digital Vision./Photodisc/Getty Images Tired of Atkins? Try Attica. canada goose coats on sale

canada goose clearance sale People of different races also buddy up to each other for the privileges enjoyed by each group. A white girl may buddy up to a black girl because the black guards tend to favor them, or a black girl canada goose uk black friday may buddy up to a white girl for access to her commissary, because she’s more likely to know people in the outside who have money. If you think you might have a yeast infection, for example, you’re not seeing a doctor to confirm it. You’re going to their tiny clinic and trying to talk a nurse into giving you some cream, sight unseen. You better hope you’ve got a pretty good working knowledge of your body in general, because it’s up to you to determine what’s wrong with you and what you need. I suspect Canada Goose sale this is why prisons have libraries, canada goose factory sale to facilitate a bunch of ladies with unusual swelling re enacting a uk canada goose seriously low budget episode of House. canada goose clearance sale

canada goose coats Fox Presumably one from that season where Wilson kept stabbing people with a sharpened spoon. canada goose coats

Canada Goose online That’s a big reason why inmates are at a much higher risk for a number of health problems like cervical cancer. And if you’re pregnant, God help you. You get monthly doctor visits (they should be much more frequent as you get further along) and limited access to necessary ultrasounds. I knew a fellow inmate who was pregnant, and what I saw wasn’t pretty. When she started complaining canada goose clearance sale of unusual pain and other issues, they basically blew her off. Eventually, she started bleeding, so they finally took her to a hospital, where she gave birth prematurely with complications. That’s about the size of things, and it’s a harrowing prospect for the about 6 percent of inmates who bring their fetuses along for the stay. But hey, it could be worse in 33 states, you could be forced to give birth in shackles. Canada Goose online

Canada Goose Parka Monkey Business Images/Monkey Apparently they’re worried this woman might get up and start sprinting. Canada Goose Parka

cheap Canada Goose I’m not going to sit here and cheap Canada Goose act like I didn’t do anything wrong, but I’m pretty sure I don’t deserve to bleed to death on a gurney. It’s hard to change to the prison systems in a society where more than two Canada Goose Parka thirds of people think convicts shouldn’t even have the right to vote, but the maddeningly slow crawl toward progress continues. If the general public has to get their empathetic insight from Netflix original comedies, Canada Goose Coats On Sale well, there are worse fates. It could’ve been on CBS cheap Canada Goose. replica handbags replica handbags hermes replica replica bags replica handbags replica hermes replica bags replica handbags replica hermes hermes replica iphone cases cheap jewelry wholesale jewelry sex toys cheap sex toys human hair wigs cheap nfl jerseys cheap jerseys canada goose outlet